A New Month A New Start

Well, Mun Suet was surprise to see the result, saying that I am not emo at all. And this gave me an idea on what to blog. Hahaha, but actually when I was doing the test, me myself wish I get "You are so EMO!" as my final result, but at the end "You're Not Emo! You Don't Belong Here!" came to be my result.

True, I am actually an easy going kind of person. Last time, I remember very clearly, I seldom get angry. I have lots of problems last time, and many people bully me because I never fight back, imagine girl also can bully me and I never fight back. This girl I remember quite well, I think I only fight back once in that year. I scolded her because I cannot stand her attitude anymore. The most funny part was, after scolding her, I scolded the students (my classmates) in that row. Coincidentally, the whole row are girls. I was so mad that time I scolded every single girl from that row. An unlucky girl from the other class came in to look for someone, I scolded her as well, she was shocked and felt bad I guess.

The whole class was looking at me scolding this girl, then the whole row of girls then the innocent girl. The main point of this scolding is, I want the 'whole world' know what happened to this girl and me. I want her to feel embarrass that time, I don't care who is looking at me or what they talk about me, that was me last time, I will keep everything under my heart, and keep compiling until some certain limitation, that I cannot keep anymore, I will explode and start scolding. No foul languages came out from my mouth that time, I can still control that.

When I cannot stand anymore, I will start shouting in front of everyone. The more people turn to me (us) the happier I am (the angrier I am), the more I'll scold. Of course, it will be better if the fella I am scolding and the people around me understand Chinese, it will be easier for me to scold. I want the person I am scolding to feel embarrass, that is all. That happened when I was in form 1.

I remember when I was in form 4, if I'm not mistaken, I went out to help a group of people in a competition. This leader was trying to make everything to be perfect, I understand la, and everytime try to make fun of me. I can stand it, but after quite some time, I don't know why, I can't really stand it anymore, in front of so many people, parents and participants, I raise up my voice. She keep asking me to cool down. I know I should not do that because I had did some mistake too and I have to be considerate as there is a conpetition going on. So I turn back and walk away. The same reason, I was trying to embarrass her but I understand, it's not only her fault but there is some mistake on me too so I decided to talk to her at the back stage.

These are my secondary cases, I don't remember any 'fight back activity' or 'counter attack' in my primary life. I just keep asking myself not to fight with them. That is why I seldom join with guys but hang more with girls. Girls are so nice to me that time, haha doesn't need to fight back. I am suppose that I already have the good boy image in my teacher's heart. Among my friends too, I am consider a good boy.

Remember there is once I lost my book. I told teacher that I lost my book and my teacher ask who stole my book. Then she asked me whether I disturb any classmate, one friend of mine defended for me, saying that I am a good boy and never disturb anyone, but only people disturb me. Well, can see how nice am I last time.

I became emo when I was in college. Maybe because I am a teenager, that is why. More problems happened to me and I cannot really keep it. Problems which come from so many different sources that I can't actually find one suitable target to scold with. And I know, it's not good to get an enermy in college, this is seriously not a good idea.

I decided to keep the good boy image until I start cursing. One of the 'stress release' mathod. But seriously, past 2 month, I was seriously in a very down mood. I know, it's not a good thing to have. But problems seems to get me down to my life and I cannot share it. I mean, I don't know how. Well, at least I try to be good few weeks ago. Haha !

Being so emo like that time make me lost some friends. Now I learned something. I will try not to be that emo anymore, that is so not me. And I did say "I TRY". Not confirm one la. A new month, a new start. Everybody do stay with me, and wish me luck ! Thank you~ [J]