Depression
Well, sorry for the lame entry.
I was too crazy these few days, was disturbed by... *something la*. Wonder is it because I didn't online everyday these few days, I realised that I had somehow, lost touch with some of my friends. My MSN Messanger is used to be full of chat-able friends and they are really nice to chat with but these few days, they were like 'disappear', maybe they are busying with their work lo, they din't blog me I suppose.
My phone in the other hand also quiet. Yes I know it's a good news for some certain people cause they will think that they can save up some credits for the next month, or whatever use but to me, I can't live without messages and friends.
Found that I can't deal with loneliness alone. What's friends for ? To help, to accompany, to share and to care. Why am I joining so many things out there ? Friendster, Hi5, Multiply, Blogger, and more... to get attention ? To keep myself busy with those stuff ? NO ! Just friends that I need.
I'm kinda emotional, I was in a very sad mood that night. For some reason but don't ask why and what. Sometimes I feel like crying but until today, I don't know how to force myself to cry. Thought crying is the best way to unstress yourself but maybe I was wrong.
Thought of writing or blogging out all my feels and thoughts but I realise that I'm not a good writer, I can't do it by just writing. Drawing sucks too. It's fuuny too when I finally decided to speak it out (to tell anyone) but when I start speaking, my brain was like empty ! I don't know what to say or what to tell. Ended up I talk craps and end my conversation with "Ahyaa, nothing la !"
Feeling like these can't easily express by wording, drawing and speaking. Maybe I'm not a good in these. I gather all my problems in my mind, my heart everytime and it's getting more and more and turn up too much in it. I can't hold it anymore ! Someone please help me, lead me and guide me please...
Picture of pills (or drugs) above look kinda not right in this entry, it seems that I had gave up my life or something like that. Well, no way and I'm not going to do that. Though I face stress and problems but I'll never think of taking drugs or commiting suicide. Don't even try to bring me into those stuffs, I'll never forgive you for that !
Thanks for caring =) [J]
18 comments:
jason,
i can understand ur feeling..being alone is a hard time to endure. u will even feel like the world has already abandon u. but please, dont be upset. life is like that.u have to learn to endure it. it is a lesson to learn so that u can move to the next level.
u can choose to write it down.dont care whether u can write it in a nice way or not.if u feel that u cant say it out.write it down would be a great way to release it.one time,two times...later u will find that u can write it nicely.u can express urself already.
believe me.
u can do it.
is this the way you think yourself in such a grey world? it doesnt have any color? then why shoud i exist in your blog and frenster...? think carefully man~ you muz not be easily to fall in confession... think waht i wrote in your fresnter msg la! =) take care...
A^SioNG
I bet is abt relationship problem you facing as i can see from your MSN pm also weird weird, but whatever it is don't be distracted by all this thing, you should know what come 1st in this very moment.
麵包 : Thanks for giving me an advice. I will try be face everything, well, I'm actually facing them just that I want to complain a bit...
Thanks too for giving me courage to write in this blog, I know I should try writing no matter I can write it well or write it badly, I'll try my very best to express myself and try to be a good writer one day !
Thanks again ! =)
A^SioNG : Thanks for caring. Thanks for your appearance in my life, in my blog and in Friendster ! Thanks for supporting and giving me advices ! Don't worry, I'll do my best, stay steal and not fall.
Thank you too for being an active member in my Friendster, thanks for everything !
Liyiliyi : Haha, which part of my entry tells that I got love problem ? Hehe... Don't worry la LiYi ! Thanks for be an active reader of my blog, sorry for not going to your blog so frequently but I'll still be there ! Thanks for your comment and thanks for being my friend !
Relationship is not just abt love, it could be friends, family and love. Get me?
Wei.. i read ur blog as much as liyi does.. >< hmph.. at any rate.. aiyo.. depression.. i dowan say anything here la.. later other ppl think i sound like their mother, cheong hei dou sei.. xD aiyo.. how can say nobody talk 2 u wat wat.. anytime, just dial 017-3366252.. Toll free number with person on the other line to talk 2.. xD
Sorry la i gave up on friendster liao.. other crap like that also i malas.. no offence to all ppl u met online, but i find meeting them face to face or talking on the phone alot nicer then just on some website..
Bottom line of this comment..
ANY problem.. don't worry.. STILL GOT ME!!! XDXD (I'm not kidding.. i'm seriously here for ya.. ;))
liyiliyi : Now I understand ! Haha, just I too perasan la... hehe Thanks anyway !
-dr3w- : I know you are a good guy la ! Thanks for being my best friend and ready to listen anytime lo... and hor, you put your number here not scare un-needed people call arr ? Haha !
silly andrew read his blog also don't read mine. Btw, Carlito Cabana sux la!
tell u what
i have a fenz that kill himself because his parents divorce and he have to go with his mom
i was so sad when one evening i know on his room and found his there dead it was hard for me
sometimes i think how lucky if i were him i get what i wanted he is juz not thinking clearly
normally if u cry there is no use after u cry the problem is still here as if u are going to cry a river and ur problem will juz go like that
not everyone is going to be there for u all the time and not everyone is suitable to share ur problem with
but in the end they tell ur scret to everyone
juz think outside of the boz
don't worry too much
u are smart enough to solve ur own problem u gotta do it own ur own gotta learn bro
don't knowwhat else to say but if u got anything juz chat with me ok i am willing to help this creture that can't live without ur herd LOL
un-wanted ppl? COME la.. i scared arr.. >< i so yong sui which un-wanted ppl want me leh? ><
liyi<< i KNOW carlito sux la.. HARDY ROX!! >< sry jj spam ur comments.. xD
and astrid, not EVERYBODY will tell out your secrets ok, those that do, aren't worth being your friends.. TRUE friends, will be there even if you don't need them.. TRUE friends will never spill out your secrets.. and i'm sure of it, talking from experience.. ^^
liyiliyi : *No comment* Anyway, why is Carlito brought to my blog suddenly ?
astrid : Know what ? I'll not simply tell me secret to anybody... I prefer to keep it myself and get suffered ! Wakakaka ! *Evil laugh*
Yet I know it's a stupid act !
-dr3w- : To tell the truth, you are good looking lo, otherwise how come Jean will got attracted to you wo ? (and me too, last time... just joking la wei, don't take it so serious !)
It's ok la, this is the second time my entry got more than 10 comments ler... but mostly spams la... lol !
see la liyi bring carlito here for wat.. respect la other ppl's blog.. ><
Jean attracted to me? personality gua.. definately not looks.. ><
-dr3w- : Who knows if she was attracted by your manly look ?
* No offence but I don't mind you guys bringing him in but I was just wonder how he got in here... ><
blame liyi.. her fault.. ><
i where got manly look? fat chubby look more like it la.. ><
blekk.. i no physical apprearance to get attracted to la.. ><
-dr3w- : There is only one word in my mind... *SWEAT* !!!
eh, I got human right to speak okay!!! Carlito still a human wert, not like I bring alien here!!!
anyway, Jia Jun where got spam my comment he also seldom go!!! =(
No one is reading me blog!!!
liyiliyi a.k.a Takifuki : Hey, how come change name liao de ? Anyway, I do visit your blog de... just seldom and I cannot spam your tagboard due to some pc problem.
Don't worry, just ask me go in when you need, course my online time is not much liao...
Don't worry la !
yewmoy : 哇～好长的一篇 comment 叻！好的，我会努力学习的！
关于我的名，都是一样的，「Jason」 就是「贾森」，而 「The O.F. Kiddo」 则是「部落格匿名」。有点乱吧？
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