Unclose The Lie

I just don't get it ! I don't know why must Zheng Joo be so emo all the time, especially when she is in her blog. I can barely see colours in her life, only when she meets her friends, doing something she likes/enjoys. I feel so sorry to her, I wish I can help her but now I can't even help myself.

Why can't I be as EMO as her ? Why is everyone asking me to be happy, cheer especially when she tries to help me, but now I can just sit down here, in front of my PC, placing my right leg on the computer table while typing on the keyboard like nothing is blocking. I am so sorry when I see her entries.

People ! It's not that I want to be EMO, I just can't help it ! Who ask me to have so many relationships problem ? I just don't know why. Zay J has her own problem and me has mine. My problem can hardly be solved.

Some people said that I am escaping from my own problems. I keep saying I don't know why when I know what is actually happening. True. I am trying to escape all these things. I don't have enough courageous to face all my problems. I just don't feel like facing it !

I try to be happy, I try to forget about all my problems, I try not knowing the real fact but so what ?! I will still think about it when I am in my own silent world. I am so hurt when I think some of it but not knowing the whole story. I will stop thinking half way before entering the dangerous zone. Yes, I am a coward, so ?

I am not like others, I don't like to read. So I try not to post a long entry.

See, just this sentance, it can show how hypocrite I am. It's not I don't want to write long, if possible, I wish I can write a novel-long entry. But I can't ! My brains tend to turn blank when I try to get more ideas. I am so sick about it ! I hate it !

I don't want to be EMO, I don't want to be VIOLENT, I don't want to be BAD, I just wish to get more friends, more love and more attention. Yes, seriously, I am an attention freak ! I can do something stupid, but not too stupid, just to get attention.

An attention seeker indeed ! Now, you see why am I so EMO these days ? So sorry if I actually said something that hurts you. I did it unintentionally. I don't mean it. Forgive me please.


Bet you saw the picture above. Doesn't it looks familiar ? Don't you think so ? [J]